There and Back Again: A Tale of a Friendship

When I was offered a teaching position in Taiwan, I had one potential conflict on my calendar. My friend Sarah's wedding was in July. I was supposed to leave for Taiwan the last week in June. Six months earlier, she had sent me a painted mug asking if I would be a bridesmaid in her wedding. My bridesmaid dress was already hanging up in my closet. As a new teacher, the first two months are considered probationary and leave is not granted. So before signing the contract I did the only thing I could do. I asked if I could have leave to go back for the wedding, because it was never a question of if. It was always a question of what. What do I need to do to be able to attend this wedding?  They allowed me the leave and this past weekend I answered the what by taking an uber, bus, two planes, and a car ride back to Minnesota. It was worth it. 

Sarah, the Glinda to my Elphaba. "I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason. Bringing something we must learn and we are led to those who help us most to grow if we let them."

Before I left, some of the other teachers asked me: Whose wedding are your going back for? The implied question was: Who is so important that you are willing to travel half-way around the world to spend just a couple of days for? The answer to both questions was: my best friend Sarah. I met Sarah when I was about 11 years old. We met in the locker room at swim practice for Med-City Aquatics.  We appreciated each other's quirks. We both loved getting mail, so we would write letters back and forth to each other (even though we lived in the same city.) We shared hotel rooms at swim meets, named pennies we found and kept a log of them, and enjoyed crafting together. We have remained close friends despite frequently being geographically far apart. Sarah is one of the most caring and loyal people I know. She always asks about how my family is doing and puts in the effort to keep in contact with friends and family.  Going on trips with her, I learned how to make friends with everyone. She would ask waiters, hotel staff, and random people meaningful questions about their lives. She did it in a way that was non-judgmental and caring. In a way that people immediately opened up and shared personal stories with her. She now uses these same strengths in the field of psychology. 

Gnomeo also attended the wedding. 

It is her loyalty as a friend that made it essential for me to put in the effort to go to her wedding as she married Ben. The wedding was lovely. The room was decorated with beautiful white flowers. The humanist minister who officiated the wedding made the ceremony very personal by adding quotes and anecdotes from Sarah and Ben. Sarah looked especially beautiful. Another wedding guest commented, "Does Sarah know how gorgeous she is? How do I ask that without it coming out weird?" The surf and turf dinner was delicious. Everyone had a great time. 

My friends Herbie, Sarah, and Drew representing Med-City Aquatics. 

As I got on the plane, I had quite a bit of time to reflect over the wedding and my short visit home. What I reflected on most was friendship. I stood up by Sarah's side at the ceremony with her other best friends. (As Mindy Kaling said, "best friend isn't a person, it's a tier.") I talked for a long time with my friend Herbie, who I don't see very often (another swim friend). I caught up with some others that were also at the wedding. Those invited were in all stages of friendship with the bride and groom. There were friends that the bride and groom had known since they were very little. Both the best man and the maid of honor were childhood friends.  Then, there were friendships that were relatively new. How many people do we meet in a lifetime? How many of those people do we see once and never again? There are friends that I have made by proximity or because we had a commonality. Some of these friends have eventually slipped away once these things are gone. Still others I have managed to hold onto despite distance and busy lives. It is a rare and special gift to find a true friend. That is a friendship worth traveling across the world for and holding onto tight. 

The bride and groom sharing their first dance. 

 So, I give my best wishes to Ben and Sarah! My hope for you is that your friendship, as well as your love for each other, continues to grow daily.