September's End

September marks a month of change. The weather changes with the start of fall. Students go back to school and go back to their normal schedules. I had already been teaching the majority of my students for a month, but they started Chinese school. I started my normal teaching schedule. In school, we have been doing less ice breakers and routines and have been starting to rigorously dig into the curriculum. Even with the changes, I have been able to develop some routines. One of the routines is Fried Chicken Monday (FCM), where some of the other teachers and I get fried chicken and watch TV. Both inside and outside of school it was an incredibly busy month. We had a four-day weekend, where Josilin and I took a day trip to Taipei. There were three typhoons with two typhoon days. I also finally got a scooter and my Alien Resident Card (ARC).  Here is a look at some of the things that I did this month.

Click on the picture to get a better view and to be able to read it better. 

Honeymoon's Over

This past week I found myself facing several frustrations (listed below) that made it clear that there are some challenges with living in a foreign country. Here are some of the realities I faced this week. I fully realize that these are very much first world problems.

1. First, my bank issued new debit cards with chips in them. They sent mine to my former address, even though I had given them my parent's address as a forwarding address. They cancelled all the old debit cards, so I no longer have a working debit card. I just got paid, so I have money. It is annoying that I am without one. I will need it by the time I go to South Korea in less than a month. My parents are planning on mailing it to me when they get back from vacation. 
2. My schedule at work changed in September. Since the students have started Chinese school, I see them afterward. This means I go into work a lot later and get done at 7:00 pm. I am someone who wakes up early, so this has been an adjustment for me. I would rather go into work earlier and get done earlier. At times it feels like I am just waiting around until work. I am still figuring out things to do here during the day and how to productively use my time. Also, see below. 
3. In August, I would ride my bike to work when it wasn't raining. With my change in schedule, by the time I get off work it is rush hour and dark. So I have been taking the bus and getting rides from people. The buses do not seem to run as frequently at night and it takes me a lot longer to get home because of rush hour.  On two occasions, I have waited about 40 minutes for a bus. This happens at night when I am tired from work and just want to get home and eat dinner. At this point it is really convenient not having a scooter. 

These things are all pretty small. Together though, they made me a little cranky, a little bummed, and a little irritable the past week. It made me realize that sadly my honeymoon in Taiwan is over. When I first came to Taiwan, one of the administrators said that we would eventually come down from the high of being here. I kind of shrugged it off. Now I completely understand. Everything is not shiny, bright, and new. I am not just on vacation. I am living in a foreign country and there are definitely aspects of my life that are more difficult abroad. 

Leslie Knope asks her constituents, "Are you better off than a year ago?" 

To get some perspective, I turned to the wonderful Leslie Knope. After her first year as a city councilwoman, she faced being recalled. She asked her constituents,"are you better off than a year ago?" This is a question that I posed to myself too. Am I better off than I was a year ago? Absolutely. At this time last year, I was working as a long-term substitute in a school that I would dread going to each day. I was working with people that I did not particularly care for. Here I am still enjoying my job, I am surrounded by wonderful people, and I get to experience living in a wonderful country. I recognize that I am very privliged to be able to do these things. Also, many of my frustrations are small and very fixable. The debit card will get sent to me. I can research more what to do during the day and spend more time developing good writing habits. I can inquire more about scooters that are for sale, instead of waiting for one to magically appear. 

An event this weekend also gave me some perspective. We had a four-day weekend and were originally going to go down south to go to a yacht party. The party ending up getting cancelled because there were not one, but two typhoons. So instead of going south, my roommate and I took a day trip to Taipei (more on this later). As we were taking the bus back, we both were pretty wiped out. I mentioned that I would probably go to bed almost right away after getting home. We had not been gone long, but I still looked forward to returning home. Without even thinking about it, I called Taiwan home.  Even though my honeymoon period is over with living in Taiwan, calling Taiwan home is better than the honeymoon, vacation stage. 

Since this post is kind of a bummer, I want to end on a positive note. Here are a couple of recommendations of things I watched, listened to, read, and did this week that made me happy. 

Watch/Listen: 
The music video for the song "Soy Yo" by Bomba Estéreo. The song itself is very catchy and features interludes of recorder. The music video makes me love this song even more. It shows a Latina girl shutting down various haters throughout her city. I have watched it on repeat this week, as did my friends after I played it for them. 

Listen:
I recently took a four hour walk and binged on this podcast. The podcast is put on by two long-distance best friends who talk about the news, feminism, and what it is like to be a woman today. There have been so many moments while listening that I found myself thinking, "this is something other women experience too?"  
http://www.callyourgirlfriend.com/episodes

Read: 
Neil Gaiman's 2012 Keynote to the University of the Arts
This is something that I reread every couple of months. Neil Gaiman always gives fantastic advice and wisdom. His speech here focuses on the importance of making good art no matter what is happening in your life.  
http://www.uarts.edu/neil-gaiman-keynote-address-2012

Do: 
The workout videos from the Fitness Marshall's YouTube Channel. He does dance workouts to current pop hits. My friend Tyler introduced me to the channel and we have done the workouts a couple of times this week. Dancing it out really helped my mood this week. My favorite is to Justin Bieber's "Cold Water," which is below. 

Talk to Strangers

When I was little, we watched a video called "Too Smart For Strangers" in school. The video featured people in creepy costumes of Winnie the Pooh characters talking and singing about what to do if a stranger approaches you. I really enjoyed this video and found it very informative. Later that day when my family went to the movie rental place, I saw the video and even asked my parents if we could get rent it. My parents rightfully said no, because it is a very odd thing for a six-year-old to want to watch. Even with only one viewing, I understood the message of the video loud and clear. Strangers are bad people who want to do bad things to you.

Here is the video cover of "Too Smart for Strangers" for your convenience. 

In middle school, my friend Sarah was the first person to show me how not only how to talk to strangers, but also how to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger. She would ask a waiter what they liked to do in their free time or ask a lifeguard at Wisconsin Dells what it was like to work there. Remarkably, even though we were strangers to them too these strangers would share very personal stories with us.These were strangers, and yet when we talked to them they didn't seem dangerous.  I started becoming less afraid to talk to strangers, and not just talking to them but asking them personal questions about their lives. As an introvert, frequently it is even easier talking to strangers, because there is less risk. These conversations are fleeting, but also very valuable. 

Kio Stark recently gave a TED Talk called, "Why You Should Talk to Strangers." (https://www.ted.com/talks/kio_stark_why_you_should_talk_to_strangers?language=en). In it she says, 

" . . . in many parts of the world, we're raised to believe that strangers are dangerous by default, that we can't trust them, that they might hurt us. But most strangers aren't dangerous. We're uneasy around them because we have no context. We don't know what their intentions are. So instead of using our perceptions and making choices, we rely on the category of 'stranger.'"

This was definitely me and I am so glad that I can usually muster up some courage to talk to strangers, because it makes travelling and living in a different country so much more enjoyable. Living abroad it is near impossible not to talk to strangers. Frequently, I will get asked where I am from and what I am doing in Taiwan. People are curious as to what I am doing in Taiwan and what I think about this country. I have also needed to start conversations to ask for help and also just out of curiosity about the lives of others. There are two main benefits that I get from my conversations with strangers that Stark also addresses in her TED Talk. 

The first benefit is that these conversations makes me feel like I am a part of a community. My roommate Josilin, who has been here for two years, can't go anywhere without running into a "friend." Timothy at Family Mart always seems excited when he sees me. There is a cook at a restaurant I frequent, who speaks limited English, but she still smiles and waves at me when I come in. Our relationship is not just a business transaction. She recognizes me; she sees me. 

Talking to strangers also makes me aware of my own bias. When I was younger, I put everyone in the category of stranger or friend. Now I know that strangers are not necessarily dangerous. My brain still puts strangers into categories, which is biased. Stark writes,

"When you think about it, using perception instead of categories is much easier said than done. Categories are something our brains use. When it comes to people, it's sort of a shortcut for learning about them. We see male, female, young, old, black, brown, white, stranger, friend, and we use the information in that box. It's quick, it's easy, and it's a road to bias. And it means we're not thinking about people as individual." 

Here it is easy to put people into two categories: foreigner and non-foreigner. My brain puts people into these two categories mostly based on skin color. This shows my bias. I have met people who were Asian, that I falsely assumed were from Taiwan who ended up being foreigners.  I have also heard that some schools here will not hire foreign teachers if they are Asian because upon first glance it is not clear whether or not they are foreigners. Another bias I have recognized while being here is that because I work with mostly American teachers, my first inclination is also to assume that every white person I see is American. As I have started conversations, I have met white people from South Africa, Canada, and various parts of Europe. Now that I am aware of these biases, I can work to fix them. When I put people in these categories, I am not seeing them as individuals. After having a conversation with them, I see others not as a foreigner or a local, but as Jimmy from California who knows a lot about world capitals. I made a connection with my Uber driver, who had visited Minnesota to go to the 3M headquarters. In a world where there is so much rampant and blatant xenophobia and racism, it is a start to have a simple conversation with a stranger to see others as an individual and not a category. 

Admittedly, it is easier for me to talk to strangers in a different country or while traveling. In the United States, I am far less bold. Different countries have various unspoken norms when it comes to friendliness with strangers. In Denmark, people would rather miss their stop on the train than ask someone to move out of their way so they can get off. Taiwan was just rated the best place to make friends (http://indy100.independent.co.uk/article/the-best-and-worst-countries-in-the-world-for-making-friends--WkbWdgjoXdZ). People are very friendly to foreigners. However, one of the Taiwanese teachers at my school told me that it is very un-Taiwanese-like to strike up a conversation with another Taiwanese person in public. People stick to their social hubs of family, school, and work to make friends. It takes a shift in thinking about how we see others. For me it took a shift in thinking with what I was taught in school at a young age in regards to strangers. 

The ability not to default strangers as dangerous starts with children. By only giving children the categories of stranger and friend, it does society a disservice. It is important to teach children that some strangers do not have the best intentions, but not all strangers are bad by default. The recent news cycle of Jacob Wetterling's body being found in Minnesota (http://www.startribune.com/danny-heinrich-confesses-to-abducting-and-killing-jacob-wetterling/392438361/) and the story of clowns trying to luring kids into the woods are just two examples of strangers not having the best intentions (http://www.cbsnews.com/news/clown-sightings-reports-of-clowns-luring-kids-expand-into-second-state-south-carolina-north-carolina/). Instead of teaching that all strangers are dangerous by default like I learned with "Too Smart For Strangers," teach kids how to use their perceptions instead of categories to know when it is okay to be friendly and when it is not. Everyone you know was a stranger at one point in time, so go out and talk to a stranger!