Tuesday, May 31, 2016

An Introvert Walks Into A Bachelorette Party . . .


On Friday I met up with my friend Kristen to get ice cream. Another thing we have in common, besides our name, is that we are both introverts. In our conversation during ice cream, we discussed what it is like to be introverted in what seems like an endless sea of extroverts. As introverts we have similar experiences of enjoying living by ourselves, valuing our alone time, and wishing there were hairstylist that didn't feel the need to make small talk. I suggested she watch Susan Cain's TED Talk on the power of introverts (https://www.ted.com/talks/susan_cain_the_power_of_introverts?language=en), which really helped me see the value of my introversion.
My friend Kristen getting "rowdy" at one of my swim meets in high school. 

In the talk, Susan Cain shares the anecdote about going to summer camp with a suitcase full of books. On the first day of camp, her counselor taught her the cheer that they chanted daily, "R-O-W-D-I-E, that's the way we spell rowdie. Rowdie, rowdie, let's get rowdie." Cain said, "I couldn't figure out for the life of me why we were supposed to be rowdy, or why we had to spell it incorrectly." Later, she was told by a concerned camper and counselor that she needed to try to be more outgoing when she took out her book to read.

After sharing this with Kristen, I told her I was a little nervous and anxious about the upcoming weekend. I would be going to possibly one of the rowdiest events one goes to in a lifetime: a bachelorette party. The one I was going to was in Pittsburgh and was over the whole weekend. I listed my anxieties with her and she nodded in understanding. Bachelorette parties (from what I understand about them from movies and TV shows) are generally R-O-W-D-I-E. Do I need to be rowdy? I do not get rowdy. I do not do well in large groups of people, and there was a group of fourteen going. With meeting new people, inevitably comes small talk. My  mind usually becomes blank when I need to do small talk. Also, I would be sharing a room with others, which meant it would be hard to get that valued alone time to recharge. Of course I was grateful to be able to go and was really looking forward to seeing with my friend. Even though I had some anxieties, the desire to celebrate the fling before the ring far outweighed any anxieties that I might have had.
Gnomeo had a room with a view at the hotel in Pittsburgh. 
Turns out, I worried way more than I needed to. It was a big group, but it was big enough that there were usually multiple smaller conversations going that I could join. I tried my best to make small talk and join conversations.The whole group conversations I ended up mostly just listening in on, which was fine.  As far as alone time goes, I did find some time to go to the lobby to write for a little bit. It didn't feel like anyone was judging me for not being R-O-W-D-I-E. I didn't need to be to have fun or to be part of the group. I even found some fellow introverts. It was a great weekend and I am glad that I didn't let me initial anxieties stop me from going. Otherwise I would have missed: 1) My first Uber experience, 2) meeting and getting to know some lovely people, 3) great food, and 4)most importantly, sharing more great memories with and celebrating my friend Sarah.

Just one of the things we did this weekend.
No rowdiness needed here. Gnomeo is ready to paint!
So, what is the take-away from all this? I will never be an extrovert. It is just not in my nature to be one. More importantly, I wouldn't want to change that about myself. Being an introvert allows me to listen better and be more observant of others. These things make me a better writer and artist. My alone time allows me to be more reflective and to be okay with doing things by myself. My take-away is that even though I am introverted, it is always good for me to push myself in social situations. As it is sometimes said, you regret more what you don't do than what you decide to do. If I had let my anxieties talking me out of going I would have regretting it. This is good to know as I leave in 21 days to go live in a foreign country. In Taiwan I will no doubt be slightly uncomfortable situations fairly frequently. I plan on pushing myself to at times be in social situations that make me slightly uncomfortable, especially social, talking to people things. Carpe that diem, in moderation.
The lovely group this weekend celebrating bride-to-be Sarah. 




2 comments:

  1. xoxoxo- Miss you already, Kristin!

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  2. This is just amazing. Thanks my friend for the party photos. A bachelorette party was held at the local Venues in NYC and I too had so much fun over there. There was a DIY photo booth also where we clicked some funny photos. Delicious Thai food had been served over there.

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