Friends Are The Family You Can Choose

Somewhat related song:

This song is in the Lego Batman Movie. It is probably one of the catchiest songs about friendship I have ever heard. 

        There are some nights when I can't quiet my mind enough to fall asleep. I ask myself the same 2 a.m. questions.  In Taiwan I can walk around by myself and feel safe. Will I be safe in El Salvador? Will I like my school? Will I be successful there? My mind inevitably circles back to friends. I used to worry about making friends, and I still do. However, now I worry more about what will happen to my frienships when everyone will be living in a different country. What happens when we no longer have proximity or have the commonality of living and working in the same place? Will we still keep in touch? We will ever see each other again? Do they value my friendship as much as I value theirs? 

         In the song "Friends are Family," it says, "friends are the family you can choose." This has certainly been the case this year. Michael, Tyler, and Josilin, in particular, have been my support system and family while I was far away from my own. We celebrated our birthdays, went to IKEA to celebrate Thanksgiving, and went on so many adventures together. Living abroad isn't always easy, but it sure is a lot easier when you have good friends by your side. This year we worked together, lived in the same apartment building, and spent most of our free time together. Three Americans. One Canadian.  This sitcom is basically writing itself. These are the people who I have spent almost every day of my year with. I'll miss our adventures together. There was the time we went to Pingxi together to see the lantern festival. There was the time that Josilin and I got locked inside our apartment. There was the time that Michael and I went to Sun Moon Lake together. There was the time that Tyler and I rode around Cijin Island on a scooter bike and pretended to be tour guides. Maybe even more that that, I'll miss the quiet moments. We spent almost two, full days together playing games, watching TV, and talking over two typhoon days. I'll miss the times we met after every big trip to debrief. I'll miss the walks and talks with Michael. I'll miss having late night talks with Josilin sitting on the floor outside of our rooms. I'll miss singing duets with Tyler during KTV, in the office when no one else is around, and in taxis. I don't have pictures of these quieter times.  Most of all, I'll miss having these people as a constant in my life. 

Just some of the memories from this year including (clockwise from top left): Rainbow Village with Josilin, scooting to Sanyi with Michael and Tyler, Hong Kong Disney with Tyler and Josilin, and the  Pingxi Lantern Festival with Tyler, Sophia, Kara, Michael, Josilin, Hannah, me, and April)

         When you are younger, it is so easy to just assume that you will have the same friends forever. It didn't seem like a big commitment to buy precut jewelry to declare who was your best friend forever.  It has five years since I graduated college (How?), and am approaching ten year high school reunion (Gasp! But really, how?). As I have gotten older, I have come to understand that it is work to maintain a friendship, even in an age with social media. There are people in both high school and college that I was close to, but that I don't hear or speak to anymore. There are the toxic friendships that were purposely ended, but also friendships that slowly fell away over time. I'm still not sure what it is that keeps a friendship besides effort and a mutual respect. Something that makes me hopeful is the friendships that have grown stronger by my being abroad. There are friends that I contact more now, than when I lived in the United States. I also was fortunate to have many friends come visit. These friends were from different times in my life and I had differing levels of communication with since living in the same place as them. 

         My high school friend Jess came to visit at the end of March. She currently lives in China, so she visited for a long weekend. We spent a couple of days in Taichung before going up to Taipei. One of my favorite parts of Taipei was staying in the space-themed hostel. It had been almost two years since I had seen her, because she had been living in China. I enjoyed catching up with her as well being able to talk about similarities and differences between living in China and Taiwan. 

         Family friends of ours visited to go to a wedding in Taipei. I was able to spend the day in Taipei with Jim and Leigh in April. I also was able to see their son, Matt, briefly before he had to catch his flight. My family did a lot with the Donaldsons family when I was younger. They moved to California when I was in elementary school. The last time I saw them was a few years ago when visiting my parents when they lived in California. With Jim and Leigh, I went to the National Palace Museum, Din Tai Fung, and Taipei 101. It was so much fun spending the day with them and catching up. 

See Matt off to the airport with Leigh! Jim was taking the picture. 

         My next friend to visit was Sloane. We have been good friends since we were eleven. I took the week off of work and we spent the week traveling to different places around Taiwan including Taipei, Green Island, and Kaohsiung. It was really nice being a tourist for a little bit. Sloane had found a free walking tour and I learned so much more about Taiwan. Another highlight was going to an old sugar factory, which had been converted into a drumming studio. We had a woman show us around and give us a free drumming lesson. Even though I talk to Sloane regularly, she got to connect names to people and places that I had talked about. I feel like now she understands more about what my experience of living here has been like. 

The woman who was giving us the private tour took our pictures with the drummers. 

        In October, I went to visit my friends Amanda, Makara, and Patrick in South Korea. In May, they all came to Taiwan to visit! First was Amanda, who I was able to meet up with in Taipei. We got to experience KTV (karaoke) Taiwan-style this time and also go on a walking tour. Just like I was able to get a slice of her life visiting her, I was now able to show her a little slice of my life in Taiwan. The following weekend Makara and Patrick visited. I worked with Makara in the PLU Archives during college. It had been about six years since I had seen Makara and her husband Patrick, and now I have seen them two times in one year! I showed them around Taichung for a couple of days. Then we headed up to Taipei to watch some of the Dragon Boat Festival. Makara competed in dragon boat, so it was fun to get her perspective. We had a great time and they took notes for their next trip back to Taiwan. 

Makara, Patrick, and I at Taipei 101. 

          It was really great getting to catch up with all my friends who visited. Even though I have not been in constant contact with them over the years, it makes my heart full knowing that we can still connect after time apart. We didn't pick up where we left off, instead we picked up at a completely different stop. The reunion was all the more sweeter knowing that we have grown and are in different places in our lives now. My friends here and important to me and I want to stay in touch with them after we all leave Taiwan. I am hopeful that we will. I know that even though they might not be an every day constant, good friends always have a way of coming back to each other.